


Lately You've Been On My Mind

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe, American Louis Tomlinson, It's mostly the same universe we live in now, M/M, No Smut, Pining, Punk Louis Tomlinson, Reaction Videos, Singer Harry Styles, YouTuber Louis Tomlinson, ahahaha sorry, at least partly because!!!, except louis wasn't a part of one direction etc, famous/non-famous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25551046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Louis was jamming with Harry as he watched the chorus once more and started the second verse, but then Harry went up higher than Louis was expecting and fully put his entire self into a line where he explicitly said the boys and the girls. Louis felt his entire face go slack, because afterwards it sounded like Harry said, “I mess around with him and I’m okay with it.”“Fuck,” Louis whispered, scrambling and accidentally minimizing the screen. He pulled it back up and paused it before he rewound it and watched it again, and then once more.“I…” Louis blinked at the camera and couldn’t even bring himself to pause recording. He just stood up from his chair and left the room, walking into his bathroom to try to pull himself back together.Or five times Louis makes reaction videos to Harry's performances and songs, and the one time they actually meet.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 24
Kudos: 386
Collections: Prompt 4.4: Shot





	Lately You've Been On My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to yet another ridiculously self-indulgent fic by Sus. I have no explanation for myself except to say that I love Positive Steven aka Steven in Stereo and his descent into being a Directioner and lover and appreciator of all of the boys was Gold to watch, especially as it all kicked off with Harry back in October of last year. Some of the quotes I have Louis say in here are actual quotes by him, some are adjusted quotes by him, and some are entirely made up. If you'd like you appreciate the videos in their original glory, I will link them at the end of the fic. They really are a lot of fun to watch.
> 
> This fic is also part of a Wordplay prompt challenge for the prompt "shot". To read the amazing fics that were written by the others on this prompt, [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/shot), and to see all fics written as part of the challenge (including years 1-3), [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/wordplay_fic_challenge/works). You can also find the masterpost for this year’s challenge [here](https://wordplayfics.tumblr.com/post/622306139518926848/wordplay-2020-every-week-for-five-weeks-a-prompt).
> 
> Biggest thanks to all those I flooded with Steven quotes and video snippets and rants and such as I fell in love with Steven over the past seven months and especially as I prepared for this fic (mostly Sada, Emmu, and Jenna). I love you guys. Huuuuuuge thank you as well goes out to [Lynda](https://wait4ever.tumblr.com) for your last minute beta! Any and all remaining mistakes are entirely my own.
> 
> The title comes from Adore You by Harry. This is a work of fiction! Please do not share it with anyone in any way associated with the band... or Steven. lol I do not allow translations or reposting of my fics without my express permission so please! Ask first. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

**October 2019 - The First Video**

Louis turned on his ring light and made sure everything was ready to go to film his next video. Reminding himself of the name of the song so he didn’t mess it up too many times while filming, he straightened his Slipknot shirt, checked his hair, and then hit record. 

“Hey, guys! It’s Louis with Positive-Louis. I’m so stoked to be with you today doing my first reaction ever to a Harry Styles song. I’ve had several of you requesting that I do a reaction video to something of his for a few months, and I didn’t mean to keep putting it off, I promise. Here we are now, though, and I’ve never really listened to anything of his before, so I’m excited to see what he’s got for us. He just dropped a music video…” 

Louis paused and glanced at his computer screen to see the upload date to make sure he got it right. If he knew anything about Harry Styles fans, it’s that they are fast to correct any misinformation. 

“Wow, okay, so the video actually just went live on Friday. So it’s brand new! Cool. Anyway, let’s go ahead and get started and see what he has for us.”

Louis hit play and furrowed his brow as soon as the music started up, letting it fade in. Already it wasn’t what he expected, but as soon as the bass dropped his eyebrows rose high and he couldn’t help his exclamation of, “Oh shit!” He immediately paused the video, leaning forward to rewind it again before turning to the camera.

“Okay, I have no idea what I was expecting to hear from him, but  _ this _ was not it.”

Starting the video back up, Louis tried to take in all of the visuals as the music washed over him. Harry started singing in falsetto and Louis shook his head in amazement. The music and vocals were incredible, but also he couldn't help looking at all of the tattoos on him. Louis was a massive fan of tattoos, as his full sleeves and hand tats proved, and he was thoroughly impressed with the ink Harry had.

As the number of people dancing all around Harry kept growing and everyone kept touching, men and women alike, Louis smirked. “Damn, everyone’s getting a piece of Harry Styles, huh?” Louis liked a good equal opportunity sensual scene. There needed to be more bisexual representation in music and even if Harry doesn’t identify as such, the scene was one Louis could definitely appreciate for multiple reasons.

The bridge finished and was starting to go into what he assumed would be the chorus when he paused the video again.

“Okay, you guys were right. This is definitely something I’m interested in. I have no idea why, but I really thought that he was more like… bubble gum pop?” Louis laughed at himself. “I judged him before hearing him, which you guys know I try really hard not to do, and I am wondering why now. This is… completely different from what I anticipated. It is still pop, but that bass line that is driving this whole thing gives it a really funky vibe and his voice is completely rock. I didn’t expect this guy to open his mouth and have a solid rock vocal. I’m very impressed right now. Okay, enough talking, sorry, let’s watch some more.”

Louis jammed as the song continued, but he kept getting a bit distracted by the visuals. They were choppy and a bit overwhelming with how short they lasted, but also Harry was fucking hot. He was tan and toned and had dimples with those curls, plus he clearly didn’t mind going out on a limb with his clothes and it worked for him. Louis had to keep reminding himself to focus on the music and not just on his pecs.

By the time the music video ended, Louis was seriously regretting not looking into Harry sooner, and he wanted to be sure to say so.

“Well, I’m feeling a bit foolish right now,” Louis said, brushing his fringe off his forehead. “I mean, those of you who are regular viewers of mine know I’m a lover of many genres. I rarely write people or bands off without trying them a little bit, but for whatever reason I just assumed that Harry Styles wouldn’t be my kind of music and never tried him. I had so many other options, I just never got to it.”

Pursing his lips and shaking his head while he stared into the camera, Louis searched for more words.

“Yeah, I was wrong. No other way to say it. I mean, this is only one song, but the song is so far from whatever realm I imagined for him that I have to look into him further. I don’t really know what else is out there, so if there’s something else you’d like me to check out by him, you can link me below in the comments, or come find me on Twitter and Instagram, I’m PositiveLouis at both. Thanks again for watching, I’ll see you again soon.”

Shutting off the camera, Louis looked back at his computer. He wanted to edit this and get it posted as soon as he could since he really wanted to know where to look next for another Harry video, plus the sooner he got this one posted the sooner he could react to a couple of the other Patreon requests for the month that had already come in and get those up as well.

Before he got to work, though, he could allow himself one more view to fully appreciate Harry’s physique, now that Louis knew it what it was like.

*~~***~~*

**October 2019 - The Second Video**

It had been less than twenty-four hours and Louis felt a little bit like a stalker. The followers he had that were fans of Harry’s, as well as those who had never seen him before but found his channel thanks to the Harry video, were very quick to explain more about his beginnings and background as well as share other options for videos he should check out. 

It was funny, actually, he was waiting for YouTube to process his first one when he checked to see if more Patreon requests had come through and there was a new one from one of his first subscribers who was asking him to react to a live performance Harry had done on an English talk show of some kind. He jotted down the details, made sure the video was still available, and decided it would be the first one he filmed the next day.

And now, here he was, feeling like a completely new man. He had so much new information about Harry Styles crammed in his head and he was ready to hear more of his music, starting with Sign of the Times.

“Hey everyone! I’m Louis and welcome to my channel, Positive-Louis. Today I’m doing another Harry Styles reaction video for you because I was just introduced to him yesterday and wow. I’m trying to make up for lost time now or something, so here we are. One of my Patreon subscribers, Carly, has requested that her video this month be Harry Styles’ performance of Sign of the Times on the Graham Norton show. 

“As many of you know, I’m a sucker for live performances. I do love hearing studio recordings and seeing how they’ve chosen to mix and produce the product, but there’s something magical that happens when an artist is singing their music live. I’m really excited to see what kind of a performer Harry Styles is as well as finding out more about his music, especially since a lot of you said I would like this song.”

Louis almost held it together, but couldn’t help laughing before squinting at the camera. 

“By the way, I’m clearly an idiot who somehow lived under a rock for the past like ten years or something, because I had no clue that Harry was part of the band One Direction. Like, one of the biggest boybands of the past twenty years, and I had no clue who was even a part of it. I do now, but yeah.” Louis tilted his head as an idea came to him. “Maybe that’s why I sub-consciously thought he’d be super pop-y? I don’t know. You guys said I have to check them out too, and I promise I will eventually, but I’ve gotta educate myself on Harry first. So! Without any further ado, let’s get this video started.”

Louis hit play and waited for the cheers of the audience to calm down so the music could start. Once it did, he was again floored. He felt like every time he learned something new about this guy he was knocked off his feet.

It was around fifteen seconds into the song when Louis paused it for the first time. Looking into the camera, he said, “What year are we in right now? This sounds like, straight out of the 70s or the 80s. Okay.”

Hitting play again, Louis leaned back in his chair and got comfortable. It was a slow song, and those weren’t usually his favorites, but there was always something enjoyable about a song done by a talented performer.

Then, Harry and his drummer started singing in harmony with Harry hitting crazy high notes. Louis’ eyebrows rose to his hairline in shock and waited for the phrase to end before he paused and rewound it. 

“Yo,” he said, blinking a few times and pointing at the computer screen despite the fact he knew the viewers wouldn’t be able to know what he was referring to with the action, but he was so amazed he couldn’t help it, “his harmonizing with the drummer right now? I’m pretty sure that this is one of the coolest sounds I’ve heard from someone in a long time. I just gotta get a little more of that.”

Biting his lip in excitement, Louis got the song going again and could feel the excitement building in him now. He loved discovering new music and singers he hadn’t heard of or explored before, and he was seriously delving into a gold mine with Harry if yesterday and today were any indicator.

The chorus started with a big build up by the band, and he couldn’t help a few outbursts in surprise and appreciation as he moved in his chair to the song. He couldn’t help it, he was really feeling this sound. 

After another verse, Louis once again paused the song so he could talk more about how impressed he was with the band and the style and sound for the entire performance, but he got a little distracted because it made him remember something that gave him a little bit of insight to the person Harry Styles was.

“Okay, and something really cool too is that a second or two ago you could hear the audience get really excited about one of the notes that he hit, and it actually made him look like he was pretty stoked about it, so he seems like a really down to earth person as well.” Louis nodded his head as he took that in. He really liked it when artists, especially artists of Harry’s fame and caliber, showed they were decent people too. “Okay, I'm gonna become a Harry Styles stan. I gotta stop this."

The song continued and Louis got a little lost in watching how Harry moved and emoted as he sang. It was clear he was really feeling the lyrics and story he was telling, and he loved seeing artists enjoy and really dig deep emotionally for the songs they performed. Plus it was just a really fucking great song.

Right when Louis thought the song was going to start winding down, Harry started hitting high notes again that clearly stretched his range for his chest voice before he then flipped up into his falsetto for a few notes and he had to pause the video again. 

“I…” 

He shook his head and laughed, shifting around in his seat. As he gathered his thoughts so he could put words to how he was feeling, he made sure his hair was fully tucked into the beanie and tugged on the flannel shirt he was wearing for extra warmth. Narrowing his eyes at the camera, he took a deep breath and tried to verbalize what he was thinking. 

“I’m absolutely blown away by this performance right now,” he started. He was near speechless, and that didn’t happen very often. If anything, it was usually the other way around. “Like… it’s taking everything in me not to just stop this camera and go check out one of his albums, because if this is the sound that he’s putting out, I cannot believe that I have put off listening to him for so long. I’m clearly an idiot.”

Louis shrugged and stared at the wall for a moment longer as he gathered himself again. He’d trim some of this down, he was sure, but he was overwhelmed. He knew Harry was talented but even after the the first song he had reacted to, he hadn’t anticipated  _ this. _

Finally hitting play again on the video, Louis leaned a little closer to his laptop while making sure he was still in frame where he needed to be for the insert of the video later. He couldn’t help it, though. He felt a need to be as close to Harry as possible despite the fact it was just a recording that was used for television something like two or three years ago.

Louis didn’t pause at all for the rest of the video, though he did rewind a few of the high notes so he could hear them again and just bask in their beauty. When the song ended, Louis tilted his head before pausing it.

“Damn, it looks like he actually had to wipe away a tear after that performance. He was clearly feeling it. That’s really amazing.”

Ignoring his computer again to talk to the camera and wrap up the video, he laughed. 

“Well. If you couldn’t tell, I’m like stupid amounts of impressed right now. I had no idea this was what I was going to get jumping into this. You guys know me well, though. You told me I’d like this song and you’re definitely right.”

Louis started listing everything he loved about the song and Harry’s performance before he stopped and scrunched his nose.

“I’ll be honest. If there was one nitpick to the whole thing, it was that his pants are awful. Really. Dragons? Like I’m pretty sure I remember *NSYNC wearing something like that twenty years ago, that’s what those threw me back to. But that said, they might’ve been Gucci and therefore the guy gets a pass.” Louis smirked and pointed at the camera. “Believe it or not, if it’s designer and it’s ugly, it gets a pass. But other than that, I absolutely loved this and I cannot wait to check out more.”

Louis wrapped up the video and turned off the camera before getting started right away on the video. He pulled up his Spotify and looked up Harry’s profile. Surprisingly, there wasn’t as much solo music as he had expected to find. He found the single for  _ Sign of the Times _ and put it on repeat. He was incredibly tempted to listen to the rest of the album, but he wasn’t going to do that. The first Harry reaction video had a lot of hits in the first day, so he hoped he could get some decent interactions going if he continued doing first listen reactions to his music. Besides, he wouldn’t mind. It benefited everyone, really. He got to listen to incredible music and watch a beautiful man perform it, his subscribers enjoyed themselves, and it got him better hits and engagement. 

Louis smiled to himself as he figured out what he needed to trim to help shorten the video. Yeah, he was more than ready to dive completely into Harry Styles videos, so his viewers better be prepared to deal with him for another musical obsession as he took in everything he possibly could.

*~~***~~*

**November 2019 - The Fifth Video**

Louis grabbed his water bottle and a hoodie as he made his way to his office. For whatever reason, it was always colder in there but had the best lighting for his videos, so he dealt with it. Plus he was really proud of how he had his records displayed behind him while filming. 

Shuffling into the room, he felt almost giddy. This was the fifth video of Harry Styles he had filmed in the week since he had discovered him, which felt almost excessive, but his subscribers were enjoying it. Plus he was already seeing a fairly significant increase in regular viewers, so he couldn’t complain and figured they weren’t either. In fact, he did a fan request for a Harry video on his Patreon yesterday as well, and since all but one of these videos so far were Harry performing live, Louis felt like he was getting a good grasp of who Harry was when he performed. 

In summary, Harry was incredible and Louis was essentially addicted.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Louis and welcome to Positive-Louis! If you’re new here, you’ll realize that I have just recently learned about Harry Styles and the kind of music he’s been doing. I’m really excited today, though, because I have also learned that he has covered my favorite Fleetwood Mac song.” 

Louis bounced a little in his chair. He couldn’t help it. He’d had perhaps a bit too much coffee in addition to getting to see Harry cover Fleetwood Mac. He was ready and would probably be a little over the top for the video, but at this point he really didn’t care.

“You guys, I just really feel strongly about Fleetwood Mac, but especially about  _ The Chain. _ I discovered them back in middle school and they were a huge part of my formative years as well as the development of my musical tastes, and it was actually this song that I first learned how to play on guitar. In fact, I learned a few different parts on guitar for this song, because I do that when I get excited about something. I learn as much about it as I can. I even learned the drums for it.  _ Anyway,”  _ Louis took a deep breath and smiled, holding his arms out. “All this to say, I get to watch one of my new favorite musical artists cover what is one of my all time favorite songs in the fucking Live Lounge and I’m very excited and hope you are too. So, let’s do this.”

Louis hit play and as soon as the band started up, he was pleased. It was the same band he’d seen in other videos despite the fact that Harry’s hair had changed and some time had passed. To Louis that meant he likely kept the same band as he toured and did various gigs and he brought the whole band into the Live Lounge too, which not everyone does. 

The more Louis learned, the more he liked this guy.

And then, Harry started to sing.

Louis paused the video after two words, pressed his palms together in a motion for praying, and looked at his ceiling. “Yes,” he said before yelling it once more. “Yes! Fuck yes. The fact…” Louis pulled on his hoodie strings and looked at the camera in earnest. “The fact that he’s got the female backing vocal happening at the same time? I’m so into this already.”

Louis rewound it so he could hear Harry and the other band members start the song once more and as it continued he started to get shivers. 

“Damn, his vocals? Insane.”

As the song geared up, Louis played air drums and strummed his air guitar and headbanged as he fully enjoyed every single part of the performance.

During the second verse, Louis didn’t bother pausing the video, he just said, “I mean… I don’t know how not to be the biggest Harry Styles fan. I don’t know in what world… I can’t be that person.”

The famous bass riff started, and Louis was now smiling so wide his face hurt. “Fuuuuuuuuck!” he cheered, continuing to watch as Harry and the whole band continued sounding amazing.

When the song ended, Louis sighed, clutched his chest and turned to the camera once more. “You guys, I think I’m in love,” he said with a sigh before pretending to faint out of his chair.

“Okay, seriously.” Louis straightened up and gathered his thoughts. “I don’t really even know what more to say. You heard them. The entire thing was absolute perfection. I mean, you can’t really improve upon something like Fleetwood Mac, but you can do the song justice, and they absolutely one hundred percent did that. Harry was just…” Louis smiled at the wall as he tried to come up with words. He didn’t have them. He had no idea what more he was supposed to say than he already had. “Listen, the Live Lounge is amazing. The performances that come out of them are always iconic and mixed perfectly and produced incredibly. And then Harry and his band come in and even get the distortion sound going at the end and they just hopefully got a whole new generation in love with Fleetwood Mac by performing a song of theirs so well that after hearing it you want to listen to the original again. What better compliment is there than that?”

Louis rolled his eyes at himself. Once again he was rambling and he’d have to cut out most of what he was saying for the final cut, but that was okay. He was excited, and it showed. 

“Okay, I’m nerding out now. I don’t even know what else I’m supposed to say here. Just, thank you so much for continuing to come on this journey with me! I’m slowly but surely falling in love with Harry Styles, and you all get to witness it. Leave me a comment, follow me on Instagram and Twitter, and consider checking me out on Patreon too! I’ve made a Harry Styles video there already and am considering making more, so I’d love to have you support me there and let me know what else you’d like to see me do. Thanks for all the love! Have a great day, treat people with kindness, and peace.”

Louis flashed a peace sign like he did at the end of every video, and turned off the camera. When he did, he tried his very best to not to even look at the computer screen that was displaying a still of Harry’s smile complete with dimples. If he did, he’d watch the video again. And maybe another time. And Harry wasn’t even shown the entire time because the BBC did a great job of displaying his band when they were the ones performing and he was just dancing around or doing whatever Harry did during the guitar solos.

God, what was it even about Harry that made Louis want to devour every item on the internet about him? He’d gotten into so many conversations with some of his fans on Twitter and in the comments section of his Harry videos and he’d learned a lot. There was even an entire subset of his fans that thought Harry wasn’t straight. Louis hadn’t seen anything specifically himself that inclined him to agree with them, but he couldn’t help but dream. 

Louis snorted at himself and made himself get up from his chair to do a lap of his apartment before sitting down to edit. He was getting so deep in that he was somehow starting to believe that it would make a difference for him in some way if Harry was interested in men too. Harry was a celebrity who would never know Louis existed, and that was fine. Expected, even.

But dreaming was nice.

Maybe Louis would film another video later today to get more of his fix for Harry in. Or, maybe he needed a bit of a break and should focus on some of the other requests he had been putting off while he focused so much on Harry. Yes, that was a good idea. He needed a break from Harry so he could stop his imagination from going too far. 

Maybe if he did two or three videos for other artists, he would allow himself to make another reaction video for Harry. Yes, it would be like a rewards system. That was perfect. 

Settled in his resolve, Louis headed back to his office and turned on his favorite Rage Against the Machine vinyl, and got to work.

*~~***~~*

**December 2019 - Twenty-First Video**

Louis queued up Harry’s music video for his newest single in excitement. It was long, and Louis didn’t know if that meant it would be one of those epic long songs like  _ Sign of the Times _ or if it was something else, but there had been a lot of cryptic tweets leading up to this and a lot of speculation that Louis didn’t fully understand, so he was ready to understand what people were referring to so he could lose his shit along with the rest.

It was going to take so much self control for him to not watch the video during the premier. He had fortunately made an appointment he couldn’t reschedule at the same time as the release before he even knew about it. Between that and the fact it was December and his life was busy with his family, he hadn’t found time to film any videos in the four days since Harry had released  _ Adore You,  _ so he was gearing up to make up for lost time. 

To get his now needed Harry fix, Louis had been listening to the few songs he could stream that he’d already heard studio versions for, but that wasn’t very many. He needed new content and today was the day for it.

Double checking that everything was ready, Louis flicked his fringe out of his eyes and checked himself in the camera before hitting record. 

“Hey, everyone! Welcome to my channel, Positive-Louis. I’m Louis, and for the past, oh…” Louis did the math when he realized it felt like he’d been looking into Harry for ages, but really he’d only discovered him five or six weeks ago. “Month? Month and a half? Somewhere around there, I’ve been going through Harry Styles’ career, mostly his live performances and some music videos. It’s been so much fun, but what I really can’t wait for is coming up in the next week or two. I’m going to be doing a full album listening party for his self titled album that will hopefully be up in the next few days  _ and _ an associated giveaway for a vinyl copy of that album. Then, the day he releases  _ Fine Line, _ I’ll be doing a full album reaction as well. I am  _ so _ excited and hope you are too.”

Louis tried to make sure he wasn’t waving his hands too much like he was prone to do when he got excited, and continued his self promotion that he liked to kick off his videos with before getting into the actual content.

“I also have a lot of Harry Styles exclusive content on my Patreon, so be sure to check that out. I’ve recently been reviewing a lot of live content and it was…” Louis licked his lips and tried his best to keep his blush down so it wouldn’t be caught by the camera, “educational.” Louis wagged his eyebrows and laughed a little. 

Harry was quite honestly obscene while he was performing, thanks to a combination of his looks, his moves, and his outfits. Louis had gathered an impressive number of Harry Styles fans in his following now, and they loved making fun of him for his incredibly obvious crush. He didn’t know what was expected of him, though. Harry was like a magnet and Louis was helpless against his pull.

Louis finished his introduction and started watching the video, immediately drawn in. He loved when artists chose to go a more in depth and creative route for their music videos instead of just making a visual promotion for their song. There wasn’t anything wrong with the latter, but having something more to connect people to the music was all part of the experience for him and he was so happy that was something Harry had decided to do for this song.

The narrator talked about how everyone had their set ways and traditions to do things in this place called Eroda, and then a child was born that clearly would grow up to be Harry.

Smirking, Louis looked at the camera. “In other words, everyone was sad and then Harry Styles was born and life changed. I know the feeling.”

Louis was already fully invested before the song even started, and then the beat dropped and Harry’s voice was introduced. Louis’ hand shot out and paused the video as he sat in shock staring at the computer.

“Fuck,” Louis said, blinking furiously and rewinding it. “Hang on.” 

He took it back a few seconds and then listened to the opening of the song again with the beat and the first few notes Harry sang.

Pursing his lips, Louis rubbed his forehead and fixed his fringe before he began speaking. “Okay, listen. I haven’t listened to a lot of his recorded stuff because I’ve been focusing on live performances he has. That’s just what I tend towards when it comes to reaction videos. But it sounds like there’s been a transition of sorts just since his last album. Like, it’s almost like he’s fine tuned his vocals and I could hear that just in the first few notes of this song. It’s so fucking good.”

Louis licked his lips, realized he didn’t really know what more to say, rewound it again, and then focused on the song and video once more.

The bass had such a great rhythm that really drove the song forward and Harry’s voice was the perfect compliment for it. When the chorus started and the higher vocals started in the background, Louis couldn’t help but cheer a little bit. When the chorus ended, Louis found himself pausing it again.

“God, I love those high notes just floating around in the background. You know me, I love a good harmony, and the way they work as a balance to Harry’s vocals with the bass really carrying the song along the whole time? It’s so funky and I love it.”

Louis wasn’t able to focus on the lyrics too much at that point because he was pulled into the narrative with Harry and the fish. He didn’t know if it was Harry himself or the story, maybe it was a combination of the two, but Louis couldn’t stop watching. 

And then Harry pulled out a tiny damn taco for the fish.

“Wait,” Louis said, smiling and pausing the video. “I saw a while ago Harry Styles tweeted about mini tacos or something for everyone, and I finally get the reference. That’s sick.”

Louis was so pleased to put that all together and hit play to keep learning more about what was going to happen to the fish and the boy. It felt like it was nearing the end and Harry was carting the fish through town when the wagon broke and the fish broke out. Louis gasped, jaw dropping and pouting at the computer. 

“I’m having such an emotional response to this fish right now.”

And then Louis couldn’t bring himself to say anything else for the rest of the video. When it ended, he felt like he was emerging from another world or something. 

“I don’t find a video very often where I don’t pause to talk a lot, as you probably well know by now, but I was so… so…” Louis struggled to find the word he was looking for that covered how drawn in he was. “So  _ captivated _ by what was going on that it was kind of hard to just stop, but this was definitely that. I truly almost cried when he and his fish were having a moment and the fish was afraid to die? Fuck.” 

Louis shook his head and tried to pull himself together. It was a fictional fish. Why was he like this?

“But seriously, to watch him actually go through that with the fish and bring him up and take care of him and all those kinds of things? It was actually really cool to watch. And the song! It’s so great! He got this little bit of raspy voice that he gets in his vocals, it just feels a little more emotional and hits a little different. I think overall it’s my favorite of the three we have heard off his album yet.”

Louis thought back to the other two that Harry had released or performed and smiled. “Okay, here’s the thing. I love it when artists can give us a variety of sounds on one album showing they’ve stretched and reached out a little bit while still staying true to a general vibe so it’s a good, well rounded package. So far we have gotten three different sounds with his three different songs, but they all still have the same basic vibe to them despite that. I think I am going to be very happy with this album he’s releasing. I can’t wait to hear it. Hell, I also think I need to see him live. I know I’ve said it multiple times before, but I’m going to actually look into his concert dates and see if I can make it work for his show in Chicago. If any of you are going to Chicago let me know.”

Looking back at the computer, Louis remembered the video he’d just watched that he was supposed to be winding up the video for. He thanked his viewers and signed off with his usual ending before turning off the camera.

Checking the time, Louis saw he had a few hours before he needed to meet up with his sisters to do Christmas shopping. Perfect. He’d get this edited and posted and as a treat to himself for going so long without filming anything, he’d record his reaction to Harry’s first album. He could edit it over the next few days and post it after he’d done a few other artists and Patreon requests. 

That said, Harry’s fans had really come through for him. His Patreon subscribers were growing ridiculously fast now. He had already hit numbers he hadn’t ever expected to for every tier and because of it he was able to start buying better equipment so he could make nicer videos. It was so amazing and he was so thankful. He didn’t really know what he had done to bring them to his channel, but he was glad they were there. They were changing his YouTube experience with their support and cheering on.

Plus, he’d started really thinking of some of them as friends. They loved teasing him and he’d tease them right back. A few even started making edits of how his face went all fond and soft whenever he really liked something Harry did in a video. He was so embarrassed, but was saved by the fact that no one was actually tagging Harry in them so the chances of him ever finding them were slim to none. He could pine for Harry in peace on his own little corner of the internet.

Taking a breath, Louis hurried to edit the video so he could finally listen to Harry’s debut album and bask in his rasp a little longer.

*~~***~~*

**February 2020 - Maybe the Millionth Video**

Louis caught a glimpse of his reflection as he sat in his chair and immediately stood up again. He loved posting selfies of himself wearing Harry’s merchandise that his supporters had been kind enough to send him in addition to what he’d already bought himself, but he felt like it was maybe a bit of overkill to wear one of Harry’s Treat People With Kindness hoodies while also reacting to a Harry video.

Once he had taken it off, he quickly shoved his beanie back on and grabbed his red flannel to pull on. His old Ramones shirt was not going to keep him warm enough on its own.

Checking his hair and reflection now, he was much more pleased with it. Nodding to himself, Louis made sure everything was situated how he wanted it and turned on the camera.

“Hello, Patreon! Thank you for coming back and checking out this video, I am super excited to do it for you. As some of you know, I have stopped doing cell phone footage on my channel for the most part because it is too risky. I don’t want to chance a copyright strike against my account, but sometimes the best concert and live footage is from cell phones, so that’s why I’m going to post them all on Patreon now.”

Louis smirked a little and gave the camera a knowing glance. “Now. A lot of you have come to me telling me I  _ have _ to watch and react to Harry singing  _ Medicine _ and all of you directed me to the same performance of it, which was in St Paul, so that’s what we’re going to do today. Let’s get into it.”

Louis wasn’t sure what to expect, if he was being honest. With as much as Harry’s fans had been requesting he react to this particular song but especially this performance of it, he had thought that it would be on Harry’s first if not second album, but it wasn’t on either. Considering their response and the fact it wasn’t a cover, it would be interesting to see if he could figure out why it didn’t make the final cut for either album.

And then the song began. From the very beginning, Louis couldn’t help but smile. “That crowd interaction is everything,” he said as he watched Harry really get into it. Harry was dancing and primping on stage, really playing up every single lyric.

At one point in the first verse, Harry was singing about feeling it out as he made fairly explicit motions with his finger and Louis’ eyes grew so wide so fast he had to blink several times to get his focus back. 

Pausing the video, Louis cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at the camera. “I don’t actually know what the medicine is, and I don’t know if it’s just how Harry Styles delivers things, but that seems  _ very sexual, _ uhm…” Louis chuckled and pulled at his shirt a bit. “I’m cool with it. But yeah.”

Taking a breath in an attempt to steady himself for the rest of this song, whatever it would be, Louis nodded to himself and hit play.

It didn’t take long for the chorus to hit and go hard, Louis calling out a, “Shit!” as Harry danced around the stage and struck some poses as he sang the lyrics with gusto.

“Oh shit,” Louis mumbled as he leaned forward to get the mouse. “I’m going to rewind that, that’s the first thing I’m gonna do…” 

Once he had the video queued to pick up where he wanted it to, he turned to the camera and leaned forward to whisper. 

“I fucking  _ love _ the aggressive side of Harry Styles!” Louis allowed himself to sit back and take in everything he just saw before continuing at regular volume. “We’ve seen a lot of versions of him when he plays live, but there’s something so different about that really hard rock edge where he brings a lot of that influence and… i just… Yeah there’s a lot to be said about all of this, but I’m just going to watch it again because I’m honestly a little overwhelmed. I don’t care how long this video takes. Let’s do it.”

Louis was jamming with Harry as he watched the chorus once more and started the second verse, but then Harry went up higher than Louis was expecting and fully put his entire self into a line where he explicitly said the boys and the girls. Louis felt his entire face go slack, because afterwards it sounded like Harry said, “I mess around with him and I’m okay with it.”

“Fuck,” Louis whispered, scrambling and accidentally minimizing the screen. He pulled it back up and paused it before he rewound it and watched it again, and then once more. 

“I…” Louis blinked at the camera and couldn’t even bring himself to pause recording. He just stood up from his chair and left the room, walking into his bathroom. “Oh my God,” Louis muttered as he turned on the cold water. He shucked his beanie to the side and splashed some of the water on his face in an attempt to pull himself together quickly. It wasn’t really working.

See, the thing was Louis had seen some of what the fans were talking about. As a gay man himself, he had gotten the idea that Harry was also queer in some way, but he hadn’t known. He supposed he still didn’t, but it was not every day that a straight man would get up on stage and sing a song with those lyrics in the way that Harry did, insinuating the things Harry was. No. Harry was practically begging the audience to see that he was part of the community.

Fuck.

Louis took a deep breath and dried his face off before walking back into his office. He’d left his beanie in the bathroom, but at this point he didn’t even care. There wasn’t really any coming back from this. 

Running his hands through his hair, Louis tried to smile and laugh it off for the camera, but even he had to admit it wasn’t going to convince anyone. 

“I’m fine,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and straightening his flannel shirt. “I’m totally cool. It’s all good. Yeah. Uh. Let’s maybe watch that one more time, yeah? Okay.”

After watching the verse and following chorus once more, Louis still felt like his brain wasn’t fully taking in everything, but he was processing enough to be able to comment. 

“I feel like watching him is like watching Mick Jagger, Iggy Pop, fucking David Bowie… he just gets so much out of this. His stage presence is truly one of the coolest things to watch.”

The performance did not slow down at all. At one point all of the lights went out as the band went silent, but then when they came back into it, it was like the entire arena combusted along with Harry. “Hell yeah,” Louis called out, smiling and bouncing a little bit. “There’s just so much energy.”

When the video ended, Louis flicked off his camera. “You guys knew exactly what you were doing to me by recommending this, didn’t you? Fuck.” Louis shook his head and laughed. “Alright. Well. Let me see if I can try to come up with some way to condense all of my thoughts and feelings into something that makes sense for you.”

Louis pursed his lips and studied the newest tattoos he had added to the backs of his hands. It gave him something to look at while he gathered himself.

“Damn. I mean, let’s just say it. Harry Styles is pretty much the total package.” Louis waved his hand in the air as if Harry was standing beside him and he was displaying his absolute perfection. “I mean, come on. He’s got stage presence, beautiful vocals, amazing influence for the music he likes to make, success, fashion, he is fucking attractive as shit…” 

Louis dropped his hands on his thighs and shrugged. 

“Like, what doesn’t… what... Is there anything this guy doesn’t do well? Truly. He even acts and has great comedic timing as we saw on SNL. He seems very confident, but very humble at the same time. And, when you see him on stage, you can tell! He is smiling and having such a great time. The fans react so heavily to every little thing he does, and I like it. I…” Louis snorted. “I very clearly like watching his performances.”

Taking a few deep breaths, Louis cleared his throat. “Okay, but… That line in the second verse, right? That’s so brave, you guys. That’s incredible and… fuck. I think I love him.” Louis laughed and covered his face with his hands before running them through his hair. “Okay. That’s enough. I’m probably deleting half of what I’ve said here because I’m rambling and in shock over what I just saw. So. Thanks for linking me to that. It really was an incredible experience and I am so fucking pumped that I got tickets to see him in Chicago. They’re pretty shit tickets, but I don’t even give a fuck because I’m going to be in the same room as him and some of you and it might be the best night of my entire life, even from the nosebleeds.”

Louis thanked everyone once again for being so supportive and stopped the recording before whining and banging his head onto his desk. 

This changed absolutely nothing. Not really. It just meant that now Louis felt some sort of vindicated in his ridiculous celebrity crush. The man was quite literally a worldwide heart throb. 

“I’m so fucked,” Louis mumbled into his wooden desk. 

He’d be fine. Eventually. He’d just have to let his fairly public crush run its course and laugh about it with his followers, and then he’d move on like he always did. 

With his plan set, Louis sat up, took a breath and prepared himself to edit the embarrassing video like he’d promised he would. 

*~~***~~*

**July 2020 - Harry Styles Love On Tour, Chicago**

“You can wait here. Others will join you soon.”

Louis thanked the security guard, John, who had brought him to a fairly plain but comfortable room and sat down. He’d had an amazing time at the concert, finally seeing Harry live. It was such an amazing experience. He thought he knew what to expect after watching so many live videos, but of course nothing beats actually being present and Harry was incredible. 

Now he was a bit nervous though. Someone who had identified themselves as a member of Harry’s team had reached out to him offering him a meet n greet with Harry and his band, and there was no way Louis was going to say no to that. He’d gotten an email outlining all of the details and had expected there to be others as part of the gathering. When John had greeted him and ushered him back, he was afraid he’d missed the rest of the group and would be the last one to show up, but that clearly wasn’t the issue. 

“Hey, Louis, right?”

Louis looked up and saw Adam walking in, his hair in a bun and looking amazing. If Louis wasn’t so attracted to Harry, Adam would have absolutely been his favorite to watch on stage. 

“Hey, yeah,” Louis said, standing up to shake his hand. “Thank you so much for meeting me. I’m still not really sure how I got here and kind of thought there would be others…”

Adam smirked. “Oh, we’re all big fans of yours. When after some of Harry’s fans brought you to our attention and pointed out you’d be coming to Chicago we all wanted to meet you.”

Louis’ eyes bugged and he laughed nervously. “Fuck, you’ve seen some of my videos?”

“Oh yeah, we’ve got some favorites we like pulling up sometimes.”

Louis felt like his life was flashing in front of his eyes. Memories of all sorts of stupid and embarrassing things he’d said and done as he played up his crush on Harry for his followers as well as admitting how affected he was sometimes by Harry had him blushing and stumbling over his words. 

“I… well that’s great,” he finally said, rubbing the back of his neck and scrunching his nose. It was time to turn the conversation around. “But for real, your bass and guitar skills are so sick! What instruments do you use?”

He and Adam had fun chatting and were joined by Mitch and Sarah shortly, with Charlotte and Nyoh coming in to say hi before wandering off again. Louis was having a lot of fun talking about all of their own musical influences and who they were listening to currently when Harry came walking in, cool as a cucumber and entirely shirtless. 

Louis almost choked on his tongue, but there was no way he was going to mess up his one shot to meet Harry. 

“Stop showing off and put a bloody top on,” Sarah said before turning around and finishing what she’d been saying to Mitch. Louis had no idea what it was, though, because he was still trying to swallow correctly.

“I’m not showing off,” Harry said with a pout before coming over and sitting between Adam and Louis. “Hello, I’m Harry.”

“Yeah, kinda figured that one out by myself, but thanks,” Louis somehow spit out. Smiling and taking Harry’s hand, he reminded himself that he should introduce himself too. “I’m Louis.”

“Oh, I know.”

Louis just froze and blinked at Harry.

“What?” Harry asked, looking at him with a small smile and furrowed brow. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Don’t give him a heart attack, H. He just got here,” Adam teased before getting up. “I’ve got an early morning phone call with the kids tomorrow, so I should get to bed. It was great meeting you, Louis. Hope we see you around again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis agreed, waving at Adam as he left the room, and then Mitch and Sarah did soon after as well.

“Did you get to meet Charlotte and Ny earlier? I know you’re a fan of them as well.”

Louis tried to figure out what to do with his hands as he processed the information that Harry knew… well… anything about him at all. He knew his name, and if he knew that Louis was a fan of Charlotte and Nyoh as well then it was quite possible that Louis had entered an alternate dimension.

“How do you know I’m a fan of them?”

Harry smirked. “Why do you think you were invited here today?”

Louis opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again shrugging. “I couldn’t figure it out, actually. I thought maybe my followers had bothered you or your team enough to have you be nice and let me get a photo with you and the band at the same time you were meeting others or something.” Louis laughed a little and looked down at his lap. “Was more than a little confused when I was ushered into an empty room and no other fans showed up.”

“Yeah, those meet n greets, if we do them, are all before the show,” Harry answered. 

Louis licked his lips before looking up at Harry with narrowed eyes. “Okay, so why  _ am _ I here, then?”

Then, Harry blushed a little. “Well, I might be a fan of yours as much as you’re a fan of mine.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Louis muttered, shifting around so that he was leaning against the armrest and could look at Harry straight on. “So you’ve watched my videos too?”

“I might actually subscribe to your Patreon,” Harry admitted with a small smile. “Surprise?”

Louis was flabbergasted. “What?” he practically yelled. “No you do not are you… you aren’t serious, are you?”

“I am,” Harry said, looking honest and serious when he replied. He paused and studied Louis’ face for a moment before speaking again. “Do you know how rare it is to find someone who finds something good and positive to say, even about performances they don’t like? And actually mean it when they say those things?”

Louis nodded. “Of course I do. There’s a reason my channel is called  _ Positive- _ Louis. Even if it isn’t to my taste, there’s something good to be found in most everything. And if there’s not, then I don’t post that video. There’s enough shit in this world, I don’t need to add to it.”

“Exactly,” Harry said, looking excited now. “That’s why I kept watching. You do a great variety of artists and musical styles, too. I’ve found some new artists I hadn’t listened to before thanks to your channel. And I love the series you do for watch parties as well.”

“Oh no… I’ve… Oh God.” Louis buried his face in his hands. “I’ve said so much shit in my videos. I didn’t think you’d ever watch them.  _ Especially  _ the Patreon ones.”

Harry laughed and Louis peeked through his fingers at him. 

“It was the fan edits that got me wanting to watch your videos in the first place,” Harry said with a knowing smirk. “So you weren’t just playing all of that up for the videos?”

Louis looked at Harry, entirely unamused. The fucking man still wasn’t wearing a shirt. Why was he like this?

“Did you think I was? Do people do that often?” Then Louis realized what he’d asked and shook his head, holding his hand out. “Actually, you know what? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

Taking a deep breath, Louis figured he might as well just say it. What the hell, right? He only had this one opportunity to meet Harry. What would it hurt for Louis to admit that he absolutely meant everything he’d ever said about Harry on YouTube and Patreon? At worst, Harry would freak out and Louis would go back to his hotel as originally planned. Literally nothing about his life would change.

At best… well Louis wasn’t going to go there.

“To answer your question, though,” Louis bit his lip and shifted nervously, scratching at a recent tattoo that still itched occasionally. “I didn’t just play that up. That was definitely me just saying what I meant. I never have been good at biting my tongue, so I didn’t really hold back. Like, at all.”

“Good,” Harry said, with a small smile. “I was kinda wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me, then.”

“What, now?” Louis asked, looking around. “Oh my God, is that why everyone left before? Is this like a date?”

Harry ran his hand through his still damp curls, and Louis couldn’t help but think he liked how Harry looked now, dressed down and without all of his beautiful, fashionable clothes possibly more than he did when he was all primped and polished for his shows. And he liked that version of Harry a  _ lot. _

“I mean, if you aren’t against it, then yeah. Now works for me. And yes, if you’re alright with it, I would very much like it to be a date.”

Louis nodded fervently and blinked several times, just to make sure he hadn’t hallucinated and Harry really was sitting right there, his perfectly sculpted chest and tattoos entirely on display.

“Yes, please. I just ask you to put a shirt on because otherwise I’ll definitely make a fool of myself.”

Harry smiled happily and nodded. “Great. I’ll let Sarah know and be right back.”

Louis could hardly believe his luck. He had already known that the concert would make the night one he wouldn’t ever forget, but now he had even more reason to know it to be true.

(And if, three years down the road, it’s after another of Harry’s concerts in Chicago that Louis proposes, well. That’s just how it goes.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it! If you did, please consider leaving a kudos, a nice comment, and maybe even [reblogging the fic post](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/624810487262199808/lately-youve-been-on-my-mind-by-lululawrence).
> 
> [Lights Up Reaction Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqQ3DITAyV0&list=PL31krUnDhnlInmK-Z4b0K0WMJvxHs_Fwv)  
> [SOTT Reaction Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02jdgZ96slY&list=PL31krUnDhnlInmK-Z4b0K0WMJvxHs_Fwv&index=2)  
> [The Chain Reaction Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxzzZ7azFbc&list=PL31krUnDhnlInmK-Z4b0K0WMJvxHs_Fwv&index=4)  
> [Adore You Music Video Reaction Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6mVR9Gqj9o&list=PL31krUnDhnlInmK-Z4b0K0WMJvxHs_Fwv&index=10)  
> [Link to Steven's Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/stevenreactz/posts) where if you subscribe on his lowest tier, you can then watch a load of excellent content, as well as his amazing reaction to Harry's performance of Medicine in St. Paul


End file.
